My First Blog Post or rather, My F.A.Q.

I have finally decided to write about my weird life. And my little weird experiences. Weird in every available aspect when filling up my particulars in a form like the one below.

I realized that I have so much to say about my journey. I have went down (I wanted to write chosen but I realised that most are not really choices to begin with) the “road less traveled” in every occasion possible. That might give some insights the lives of super minorities like me. The main thing that was holding me back was the fear that any of my family members might come to see this. It’s not too much about them actually seeing it, but their reaction after seeing it, which will in turn affect my parents. And so, this fear kept all my words bottled inside me for the past 10 years or so. But now, I think I am way past legal age to do anything as an adult.

One of the reasons why I have so much to say is because I have always felt like I could see things from all kinds of perspectives, being always in the middle of everything! Like I could give advice on a girl dating a guy from the guy’s perspective and I could also do it from the girl’s perspective. This level of empathy (a positive way of calling it) or this double perspective is a “talent” that comes with my weird-ness!

There are also times when I felt that putting up a permanent FAQ could also answer some of the repeated questions that I get from people that I meet. It starts with my name. When people don’t see my surname first, it’s fine because I sound and look totally local. They might just wonder if I’m Malay or Chinese. But when they see my name…… It’s the prompt for the beginning of a Q & A session. So each time they ask, I’ll just send them this link so they could get everything (almost), that they wanna know.

So here it goes.

F.A.Q.

Why is your name like that?!

Because my dad’s Filipino and my mum is Singaporean Chinese.

Oh! So you can speak Tagalog?

Er, nope, because my dad can’t speak Tagalog too. Cos he was born in Malaysia. And actually, only my grandpa is Filipino and my grandma’s Malaysian.

Oh! So you can speak Chinese?

Yes.

All your family in Singapore?

Yes.

Are you a boy or a girl?

Girl. (eye-roll x 10000 times)

So are you married?

No. (Stop trying to dig about my sexuality. I can feel it. )

What are you working as?

Selling drinks. (This is my current “most-hated” question.)

Oh! So you have a shop ah!

Nope, I only sell at Pasar Malams at the moment.

I am pretty sure there are more questions that should be included in my FAQ (about my sexuality) but nope, I’m not feeding your curiosity too much for now.

Sometimes, I wish that I could have more straight forward answers to their questions. Like those standard answers. But I don’t. And sometimes, I am also glad that I don’t have those answers.

In writing, what I really want is an outlet where I can force myself to think out loud. Because for someone like me, there is never an easy way to google to find out specific answers. (ie. google- swimwear for boy/girl?) And eventually think better, more clearly, know myself a little better and to share my experiences, good or bad as learning experiences for whoever out there who might be going through similar experiences to know that you are not alone.

Another trigger for writing is my entrepreneurial journey for the past 2 years or so. I am so amazed by everything that I have learned during this period of time and I have so much to share.

Finally, I want to be able to talk to myself, about myself out loud, using my own name. Instead of hiding behind all the time. I’m sick and tired of hiding, denying, feeling ashamed, feeling guilty, feeling scared, worried and all sorts of negative feelings.

CarmenOrt

My First Blog Post or rather, My F.A.Q.

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