ASOS was my favourite app. Aliexpress was the other favourite that introduced me to endless and mindless things that I do not know existed and do not need at all.
And so I just calculated how much I actually spent on 1 APP: ASOS – 74 orders – $7728.15
It might not be much but I know very well now, it is money that I could have better spent elsewhere. It is $7728.15 that is probably worth $500 at best, now (if I even took the time and effort to list, post and sell everything.)
When I first got lured into the world of online shopping in 2019, I was so excited. Especially for an introvert like me. Because it meant that I could buy anything that I wanted without ever having to physically talk to anyone. There’s no guilt in not buying after trying or asking anything! I didn’t have to fear that I was gonna be judged that I’m a girl shopping at the men’s department. I didn’t have to waste time on commute and money on parking at a mall. It is always available, always open, always there for you.
Everything about online shopping is so exciting. From browsing through the endless collections and items, to waiting for the parcel to arrive and then trying on the items that I’ve bought. And because everything is via e-payment, you don’t actually “see” the money being spent until you check your bank balance.
Online shopping IS designed to have you hooked- the incessant notifications, the sale emails, the new arrivals, the ease of purchase, the reminders when you left the app without actually buying anything. EVERYTHING IS ASKING YOU TO COME, COME, COME, BUY, BUY, BUY.
I was so addicted. I checked the app for new items EVERY SINGLE DAY and I ordered almost every day. I spent whatever money I had on online shopping. Buying more clothes, shoes, bags which until today, 80% is not even worn ONCE. My Dad said I was a kleptomaniac.
The thing about shopping is that you will always think that buying this new shirt will make you happy and that’s it. You won’t need to buy anything else because this shirt will make you happy and satisfied. But this is far from true because we are never satisfied. There will always be newer items, nicer items, our desire never ends. We will never be satisfied with just 1 shirt until we change the way we think.
These are the 15 mindset changes that helped me end my battle with online shopping.
1. Nobody cares what you wear
Because people are usually too obsessed with themselves to care too much about you at all. They care about what they wear, if they look good in what they wear. Even if they care about what you wear, it won’t be for long. Because they will be thinking “oh nice dress, maybe I should get it for myself.”” Wonder how I will look in it”
It will always be about them. Never about you.
2. We can never catch up with the latest collection. NEVER EVER IN OUR LIFETIME
We can never finish buying, even in the next 5 years, 10 years so why are we chasing something that we can never win and just stop right now?
Even if I buy now, tomorrow I will still be unhappy when I don’t get that new item so why not just be happy with what I already have?
3. What you wear don't reflect what kind of person you are
Most people, I realised, are wearing thousands of dollars but when they open their mouths or when you observe their behaviour, they are worth $0.
Clothes and appearances don’t reflect the depth and the substance that you have. It is all superficial.
4. You only have 1 body
So what the hell are you gonna do with 1000 pieces of clothing, 100 pairs of shoes, 100 bags? Can you ever finish wearing them this lifetime?
5. If you're unhappy with your body in the first place, you will never be happy with whatever you're wearing.
It starts from within. You need to change the way you feel about yourself, not your clothes. Spending the time to work out, will make you even more confident than getting that new top.
6. By adding to your collection, you're accumulating more things in your house and it will become more and more difficult for you to find anything.
In the end, you will still stick to wearing the ones that are most convenient for you to find ie, you will still be repeating clothes unless you spend 4 hours digging out your wardrobe before you head out each time.
7. You don't need this
Yes, you really don’t. You will still survive well without this new piece of clothing, shoes or bag. You will still breathe. You can still work. You can still go out with your friends. You can still have fun.
8. It is not really a sale.
Yes when you see 20% off, 50% off, you think you’re gonna save money! And so you quickly buy items that you don’t need don’t really like because it’s on sale! You don’t wanna miss out. What you don’t realize is that you are spending 80% of the money that you didn’t have to spend in the first place. If you don’t buy, you save 100% and that’s a better deal!
9. There will always be another sale.
So stop that fear of missing out! There will always be sales!
10. Money can be better spent elsewhere
There is no value in clothes at all even if you sell them at a flea market or garage sale, you will lose money. If I had invested this $7728.15 in Bitcoin back then, I would have so much more now. Put your money to work for you instead of trying to get rid of it.
11. Money shouldn't be your biggest enemy.
Whenever I had money, I had the strongest urge to get rid of it like it’s my biggest enemy! Try to challenge yourself to hold your money for 60 days instead? And then you will think twice before spending it. Money should be your best friend. Let her stay with you for once?
12. Fewer clothes, fewer decisions to make
Then you take less time to get ready, you can be finally punctual for your appointments!
13. We can wear whatever we want
And nobody will know it’s us because we are all masked up now.
14. The more you buy now, means the more you have to pack
If you hate packing your house, buying less is doing yourself a favour. If you hate throwing away stuff, then buying less will leave you with less to throw. If you hate making decisions, buying less means you have less to make decisions about.
15. The best way to save money is to desire less
Less spending = More savings
Less spending = Less debt
Less desire = Less spending
We keep spending because we keep wanting. So start wanting less. Because we CAN live without it. Then you can finally have some money to save instead of living pay-check to pay-check.
If you’re determined to quit online shopping, apart from changing the way you think, you need to set yourself up physically to prevent succumbing to this addiction.
These are the 5 things you need to do NOW:
1. Delete that app
I struggled so bad with this. I deleted and re-downloaded it every single day. If you can’t delete it, then try #2
2. Turn OFF all notifications from your phone from that shopping app
Start slowly if you can’t delete that app.
These notifications are designed to keep you addicted so you have to fight them! Don’t give them any chance of luring you in!
3. Keep that app in a secluded folder on the last page of your home screen
Out of sight, out of mind. When you don’t open the app, you WON’T see anything you like, you won’t feel like buying anything because you don’t even know it exists! How can you desire something that you never knew existed?
4. Don't go "window shopping"
Because it builds desire. Don’t open that app, don’t go to the mall.
5. Unsubscribe from all Email mailing lists that encourage you to shop
Don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position. Just don’t. It’s easier to stay away than to see it and resist it. Trust me.
Start now before you end up being 35, with little savings and with heaps and heaps of unworn clothes like me. Good luck!